Ever had that moment when you’re halfway through replying to a mate’s message and suddenly think, “Hold on, why am I stressing over this?” You might just be entangled in the not-so-cosy embrace of a toxic friendship. These red flags are as clear as the need for an umbrella on a cloudy day in Manchester.
1. The Ghoster
Vanishes more often than your resolve to give up crisps. Getting a reply is as rare as a quiet moment in Piccadilly Circus.
2. The Drama Magnet
Attracts chaos like a seagull to a chip. Suddenly, you’re less of a friend and more of an unpaid therapist.
3. The Competition
Every story you have, they’ve got one to top it. It’s like being in a never-ending game where the only prize is frustration.
4. The Social Media Hawk
They’re all over your online life, liking and commenting. Yet, face-to-face, you get less interaction than from a brick wall.
5. The Last-Minute Bail
Plans with them are about as solid as a chocolate teapot. You’re better off making plans with a mirage.
6. The Gossip Spread
Trust them with a secret at your peril. Your business becomes community property faster than you can say, “I shouldn’t have told you that.”
7. The Wallet Forget
Somehow, when it’s time to pay, they’re more elusive than a sunny bank holiday. Rounds with them are a myth, a legend.
8. The Underminer
Their “jokes” cut a little too deep, leaving you feeling about as good as a rainy summer holiday in Skegness.
9. The Empty Promiser
They promise the moon but do not deliver, not even a glowworm. Expecting them to follow through is like waiting for a heatwave in February.
10. The Downer
Spending time with them leaves you more deflated than England’s hopes in a penalty shootout. They have a knack for turning a good mood sour.
11. The Green Monster
They view your wins with the same enthusiasm as a cat does a bath. Supportive? Only when it suits them.
12. The Guilt-Tripper
They’ve got making you feel guilty down to an art. Suddenly, you’re apologizing for their mistakes.
13. The Parasite
You give, they take. It’s a one-sided exchange that leaves you as drained as a bank account in January.
14. The Puppeteer
Skilled in manipulation, they twist situations to their advantage. You’re left feeling like you’re in a maze without a map.
15. The Professional Victim
Somehow, they’re always the aggrieved party. Responsibility is an alien concept to them.
16. The Sneaky Critic
Compliments are laced with subtle digs. You’re left feeling puzzled rather than pleased.
17. The Measurer
Your achievements are always compared to theirs, and somehow, you always seem to come up short. It’s like being in a perpetual game of “Who’s Better?”
18. The Time Hoarder
Demands all your time and then some. Your personal space is invaded more aggressively than tourists hitting Oxford Street on Boxing Day.
19. The Boundary Crosser
Respect for your limits is non-existent. They overstep more than an eager contestant on a game show.
20. The Mood Mimic
Their mood dictates yours. If they’re down, they expect you to be right there with them, in the dumps.
21. The Loyalty Tester
They set up scenarios to test your loyalty, making trust a game rather than a given. You find yourself proving your friendship more often than you’d like.
Time to Tidy the Friend List?
Spotting these red flags in your friendships is like finding out there’s been a hole in your pint glass all evening – it explains a lot. It might be time for a spring clean in your social circle, making room for more genuine connections. After all, life’s too short for friendships that feel like an uphill cycle… on a Boris bike.
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Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Fancy Studio.
For transparency, this content was partly developed with AI assistance and carefully curated by an experienced editor to be informative and ensure accuracy.
